one of those

Just one of those nights....the kind when you can start crying a little, or a lot, just thinking of how they're growing up and wondering why it has to go this fast. And then you wonder, it's going so fast, what if I'm missing something?
What if I'm not teaching them something at this age that they need to know? What if I'm not doing them any favors by not being harder on them about something? Or what if I'm being too hard on them for that? Or what did I do today that I don't even realize they'll keep with them forever? What damage did I do that I don't even realize? What, if any, good mom thing did I do today that someday they'll be thankful for? Did I kiss and hug them enough or too much or too little for their liking? Was I too dictatorial with one, and too soft on the other? Did I make any of them feel UNHEARD or left out today? Did I expect too much out of someone today, or too little? Did I tell them thank you for their help? Did I help make a big deal out of nothing today? Should I have put my foot in my mouth today, just to keep things running smoothly?
It's just one of those nights. It wasn't even a bad day. It was a good day. A busy day. But it's those busy days that really get you - at the end of them, I find I'm wishing I had spent my time more worried about them and their stuff than me and mine.
It's just one of those nights.

But look, there's Jack, giving me the thumbs up. Everything's probably okay. It's just my job to overanalyze every once in a while, then go to sleep with puffy red eyes.
Thank God for new mornings.